One who never asks either knows everything or nothing. -Malcolm Forbes
When I was a kid I drove my Mom and my older brother crazy with questions. Constantly wanting to know “why?” Then once was told for tenth time to stop asking why I turned to my other favorite question…”What if….?”
I love my family and I believe that it is true that very typically our family members want what is best for us in life. Whether it is our parents or a big brother; they want to see us have a great life. Oftentimes part of the desire of parents is to see their kids live a life with minimal to no struggles, we hate to see our kids hurting or disappointed. However, when it comes to asking the same question over and over even the most loving of parent can have enough and shut it down.
Why and “how” are words so important that they cannot be too often used. – Napoleon Bonaparte
So here is the problem! We become programmed to stop asking these vital questions. In my world it would be like this. What if we had stayed in California where I was born? What if I hadn’t had a back injury in high school and had gone to a different college? What if we hadn’t taken the opportunity to move to South Carolina in 2011? What if I wasn’t willing to grow? What if I didn’t believe my future was brighter than my past? Then the why question! Why did that bad thing happen? or why did this good thing occur?
“What if” is the question of vision! That’s my take. My preferred future is my responsibility. So given that fact I have to ask “what if.” What if I never save a dime toward retirement? What if what I save isn’t enough? What if I am not open to new learning? What if I decide in advance that a new opportunity is not for me? What if I do what I think everyone before me did? Should I expect a different result? What if I stop asking the question, what if? Is that when a person shrivels up, uses oxygen and eventually dies? So here we are well into our 40’s relearning how to ask “what if?” Parenting in a way as to encourage our kids to ask “what if?”
If the question “What if?” is the question of vision, then what about “why?” Why is often the question of the past. Why did that happen? Why didn’t this go the way we hoped? Why did you do what you did? Why did I respond that way? Since looking back is of limited value when the future is out the windshield I am adjusting the question. The one I want to ask with annoying repetition is “WHY NOT?”
Why not me? Why not you? There are things in my life that I want. I want great generational relationships with my kids, their wives and their kids and their kids after them. “Why not?” I want to have the financial freedom to be free to participate in the lives of my grandchildren at an appropriate level no matter where they live. “Why not?” I want to take my wife great places in the world. Why not! I want to give to great causes and help people who need help. “Why not?” I want to invest myself in younger men who want to avoid some of the roadblocks I may have had to traverse. “Why not?” You see the point? Ask yourself “why not” and what if?”
What if you had someone who would come along side you who could help you fulfill those things on your list? So that when you asked “why not?” your only answer is because you don’t want to or you don’t value it all that much. It would be nice, but it’s really not important to me. However, for those things that are important, the things you desperately value. What if you and I could really believe that it is possible, because it is.
Ask questions, wrestle with why, imagine what if, and if why not is impeding your progress let me know. There are solutions.
Mining Greatness,
Steve Polk